Ladies and gentlemen
Please fasten your seatbelts
Strap yourselves in
Because what you are about to experience
Is going to be
The wildest ride
Of your lives

Are you ready to experience the most astounding phonic landscape you've ever heard?
Are you ready to expand your musical horizons beyond imagination?
Are you ready to experience something new
Something radical
Something
Dangerous

On the bass, the master of sound, it's
DECIBEL DANIEL

On the drums, the finest Milton Keynes has to offer, it's the one and only
MILTON KEARNS

Riffs so hot they'll make your momma say the F-word, it's
RAINBOW "CARICATURE" THE ROCK

Setting fire to our knees with their skills on the keys, it's
OCTAVIA DYSON and SCALECTRIX SALLY

Providing backing vocals, it's
EAST SHROPSHIRE PARISH CHOIR

On the iPad, the world-famous sound-maker, give it up for
DOCTOR SOUND

We're gonna need someone on secondary percussion, let's get him on the stage, we all know who it is, it's
UNCLE LIMBS

On the ondes martenot, it's none other than
MIKEY "JOHNNY GREENWOOD" TEAL

Singing their hearts out on co-operative lead vocals, please welcome
BEYONCÉ and NOEL EDMONDS
[Please note: these names and sounds were procedurally generated by an unsupervised AI, we have not checked the results yet]

A man who needs no introduction, on the djembe...

GLADIATORRRRRRRS
AREEEE. YOUUUU. READDDDDDYYYYYY
[fat djembe solo]
YES

And now, the moment you've been waiting for
The only man who can sing three notes at the same time, it's
JAMES "AC/DC" BRIOCHE

HELLO WEMBLEY!

It's fantastic to be here tonight, a big shoutout to our supporting act,
BUENA VISTA SNOOKER CLUB
You guys absolutely shredded it!

D'jaknow what?
This album
This album right here
I think this is the best album
The single most amazing album
You’ll ever listen to

Right gang!
ARE YOU READY?
This is gonna be sick! I'm really feeling it!
Let me hear you say it
ARE YOU READYYY?
I didn't hear you...
ARE YOU READYYYYYY?
[YES FOR FUCKS SAKE]
Are you absolutely sure?
[FUCK]
I'm gonna ask one more time...
ARE YOU READYYYYYYYYYYY?

OK gang, this is it! On four, OK!

ONE!

TWO!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

THREE AND A HA- oh shit I've lost count

ONE!

TWO!

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR

[song plays]

THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT!